The only site on the web devoted to the suppression of suprasternal notch fetishism. The English Patient introduced international audiences to a most recherché object of obsession, the suprasternal notch. In the film, Count Laszlo de Almásy (played by Ralph Fiennes) drifts fatally under the spell of Katharine Clifton (played by Kristin Scott Thomas), and the suprasternal notch is heavily implicated in his descent into a sinful and adulterous liaison. (OK, so much for the redeeming social value part.)

"I claim this shoulder blade -- no, wait, I want -- turn over -- I want this, this -- this place. I love this place, what's it called? This is mine. I'm going to ask the King permission to call it the Almásy Bosporus."  (.wav file, 328kb)

"Um, Maddox, that place -- that place at the base of a woman's throat, you know, the hollow, here. Does it have an official name?" "For God's sake, man, pull yourself together."  (.wav file, 264kb)

"In case you're still wondering, this is called a suprasternal notch"  (.wav file, 60kb)

OK, you ask, how can I avoid the frightful consequences of dementia lacunae suprasternalis? Women: Wear turtleneck garments at all times. Avoid hot climates where the wearing of turtleneck garments is impractical. Alternatively, wear a balaclava with your sundress; or, wear a gorget of sufficient size to cover the notch. Men: Do not look at a woman's suprasternal notch. Avert your eyes. If this is awkward, look at her nostrils. Don't look into her eyes, either; this is almost as perilous as looking at the notch. If you find yourself becoming notch-whipped, think about a dry and utterly uninteresting subject, like the Internal Revenue Code or Maya Angelou's poetry.

Actress Kristin Scott Thomas, with suprasternal notch displayed to advantage. In her rôle as Katharine Clifton in The English Patient, she notch-whipped Count Laszlo de Almásy (Ralph Fiennes) and caused his downfall. Was this the suprasternal notch that launched a thousand ships, and burnt the lofty towers of Illium?